Hitting the Weight Loss Plateau

Plateau - "A relatively stable level, period or condition"  

WOW!  That definition of plateau sure sounds like what has happened to me on Jorge's BFC.  Oh wait, I think that couple of times taking out the dog at 2:30 am and coming in absolutely famished and sneaking some Oreos, and that night I said, "the heck with pita pizza being the ONLY pizza I'm eating tonight, might have the slightest bit to do with the fact that I haven't lost any more weight.   I also haven't been counting the six allowed servings of carbs very well.  I've also had too much Zevia (my favorite soft drink and a recommendation by Jorge Cruise) which contains about one of the carb servings.

I've been really successful on this Belly Fat Cure being down 36 or 37 pounds (depending on the day).  You may want to check out another blog I was told about yesterday: "Me and Jorge" which is a well laid out, neat, and well written blog on one person's experience on the eating plan and the incredible amount of weight she's lost. I gotta take a few lessons from her on how to do this blogging stuff!

Oh Geesh!  Now I've done it!!!!  I'm WRONG and I have to admit it to my oldest brother???? 

STEVE, I STAND CORRECTED!

You have to understand about my family.  It's been a running joke since we were kids between my older two brothers and our parents that our mom has always had the last word on a topic because because she "read an article..." (After 40+ years we have yet to actually SEE any of those articles).   WELL, now my older brother did the same thing to me.  By-the-way, when I say older brother, I mean it.  He's around retirement age.  I'm eight long years behind him.  Anyway, I digress;  I told him that it bothered me that Jorge is recommending coconut oil as one of his new favorites.  So he sent me some 'articles' that he read on some Web sites which backed up his claim. BUT, it was funny that those sites were all ones who were selling or referring people to other sites which were selling the coconut oil.  I went out to sites like the American Heart Association, Mayo Clinic, and others which said Coconut oil is a BIG NO-NO!!! I sent those to my bro' and asked which he would rather believe.  So, what pops up on my screen from cnn.com but some information about how coconut oil is not as bad as once thought.

Get a load of this:

Myth 3: All saturated fats raise blood cholesterol.
Truth: New research shows that some saturated fats don't.

Good news: Saturated fat may be better than once thought.

Eating foods like coconut and chocolate that contain stearic acid, an HDL-cholesterol booster that may eventually be called the "good" saturated fat, is healthier than once thought.

So, Melissa (one of my blog followers), I guess your friend was right and you didn't waste your money after all!

Why Does Jorge Cruise Recommend Red Wine Instead of White Wine?

Could it be that White Wine can lead to increased risk of staining teeth?

For a long time it's been said that red wine is good for the heart when used sensibly.   But if you click on the CNN link above, oh, OK...to save you from scrolling up...click here, you'll see that white wine also accords a lot of the same benefits.

BUT, perhaps Jorge knows something else.  White wine may lead to an increased risk of dark dental stains if you also drink tea.  CNN has been an incredible wealth of knowledge for me today! I'm really not making this stuff up, but researchers used COW TEETH for this test. YES, you read it correctly: COW teeth. I mean you gotta laugh on that one!  The researchers submerged the teeth in white and red wines for an hour.  Then they submerged them in black tea for an hour. The teeth not only got drunk, but the ones in white wine left the teeth more susceptible to being stained due the higher acidity of the white wine.  Ya know they could have collected all those baby teeth from the tooth fairy and done the test using HUMAN teeth....

From   * * *  THE VJJE RECIPE WEEKLY  * * * email I get each week (with my comments in italics)

UPCOMING FOOD HOLIDAYS:

          May is: National Asparagus Month (OK for Belly Fat Cure)
                  National Barbecue Month (Use Scotts or Nature's Hollow sugar free BBQ sauce)
                  National Chocolate Custard Month (FORGET IT!!)
                  National Egg Month (go right ahead!)
                  National Hamburger Month (go for it, only with whole grain bread!)
                  National Salad Month (BORING!)
                  National Salsa Month (tomatoes have a LOT of sugar, folks!)
                  National Strawberry Month (uh-uh!!)

You may splurge on any of the below as long as you don't tell anyone that ** I ** told you!

            May 16 - National Coquilles St. Jacques Day
            May 17 - National Cherry Cobbler Day
            May 18 - National Cheese Souffle Day
            May 19 - National Devil's Food Cake Day
            May 20 - National Quiche Lorraine Day
            May 21 - National Strawberries & Cream Day
            May 22 - National Vanilla Pudding Day
            May 23 - National Taffy Day

Food Stuff

The Official Wisconsin State Microbe

Lactococcus lactis

Had I not seen in and heard on the news I would never believed it!!!!  What's it got to do with food?  This incredible workhorse of a microbe ferments milk sugar (lactose) to lactic acid. And why is this so important that Wisconsin is the first state to declare a state microbe?  Well, Wisconsin is the cheese capital of the country.  So, what's next?  Will arginine become the Official Amino Acid of Virginia because that's one of the key amino acids in Virginia peanuts?  But I want you to remember that cheese is OK on the Jorge Cruise Belly Fat Cure, BUT oh keep in mind that you have to keep your sugar intake down to only 15 grams a day, so no no no milk!!!!

<---- The official Amino Acid of Virginia?




So, I happened to see this article and thought you might be interested!

Santa Goes On Atkins Diet

Cookies and milk out; eggs, beef, chicken, cheese in. North Pole Santa Claus announced today in his annual pre-holiday press conference that he has begun the popular Atkins diet, and is asking for help from families around the globe. Atkins dieters are allowed to consume large amounts of high-fat foods such as eggs, beef, and cheese. Carbohydrates, which are found in pasta, breads, and fruits, and sweets, are not allowed. Mr. Claus said that he decided to start the diet after he could not fit into the trousers he wore to deliver gifts last year. "I couldn't bring myself to buy new trousers, and I haven't had a good body image lately. I had to do something, and quick", said Claus. "Having a belly like a bowl full of jelly is one thing, but being a complete fat ass is another. I mean, even my jolly little toe has fat on it." According to inside sources, Mrs. Claus may have also played a part in his decision to lose weight. An elf, who wished to remain anonymous, said that Mrs. Claus "is getting more and more involved" with day-to-day operations, especially as Christmas nears. "She pretty much runs the toy factory, and she is making all the elves work a lot of overtime. Plus, she made us all sign waivers saying we wouldn't sue if we got injured on the job. Now, Santa suddenly goes on the Atkins diet? I guarantee that is her doing. She's a real pain in the ass. We've all started calling her 'Yoko'". Santa says that his goal is to lose twenty pounds before he delivers gifts on Christmas Eve, leaving him plump, but not grossly obese. And, says Claus, he needs everyone's help to stick to his diet.  "I am asking the families of the world to leave snacks for me that are low in carbohydrates. Unfortunately, this means that the traditional snack of cookies and milk is not acceptable. Good alternatives are scrambled eggs, cheese, beef, or chicken." Experts agree that a thinner Claus may be a healthier Claus, but think that the new snack requests may spoil some of the fun and tradition of Christmas. "I think it's great that Santa wants to lose a few pounds", says holiday expert Michelle Bosler. "But a great Christmas traditions is being altered. Leaving cookies and milk for Santa Claus dates back hundreds of years. I don't think families will enjoy scrambling eggs or broiling a T-bone for Santa quite as much. And these low carbohydrate snacks are much more expensive than a couple of store bought cookies." Despite the criticism, Claus vows to stick to his Atkins diet. "I'm going to do this. I've tried other diets, and I just can't stick to them. I mean, have you ever had a SlimFast shake? Tastes like liquefied wood." North Pole spokesperson Sandy Ashton said that if families are uncomfortable leaving eggs or meat as a snack, they could opt to leave no snack at all. "We'd rather Santa not have a snack than eat foods that are high in carbohydrates. For families who don't wish to leave a low-carb snack, we ask that they leave a note of encouragement for Santa, or some bourbon, which is a low-carbohydrate beverage. Dieting is difficult, and he needs support if he is going to succeed."

The New Atkins for a New You Diet

So, I get this WebMD newsletter about whether this "new" Atkins diet is any good.

Here's a brief summary of what they said.  Don't get excited....it hasn't changed much.  But it does allow you (sorry, kids) more vegetables and guess what????  You can now have more carbs!!!  Well, the "healthy" carbs are evidently only allowed during the final phase of the diet.  So, it's still high protein, low carb.  This MUST be good for you because they say over 50 studies have been done to show it.  Oh yeah....did I forget to mention that some of the studies were funded by Atkins organization?

The plan has four phases -- induction, ongoing weight loss, pre-maintenance, and lifetime maintenance.  I wonder if lifetime maintenance means buying all the Atkins foods?

The diet plan also says that people may experience tiredness, leg cramps, and weakness.  DUH!!!! Is there something wrong here?  "The new Atkins diet's warnings of dizziness, tiredness, leg cramps, and more should be a red flag, says American Dietetic Association spokesperson Joan Salge Blake, MS, RD.

Protein and high-fiber vegetables are important components of any healthy weight loss plan, she says, but eliminating healthy carbs goes against a wealth of scientific evidence. "

Jorge Cruise's Belly Fat Cure is not a low carb diet.  It's substituting bad carbs for good carbs! Though I have to agree somewhat with Wayne, my wise nephew.  He said that Cruise's BFC is sorta like South Beach Diet, packaged with a few differences.  I don't know and I don't care.  I've lost about 36 or 37 pounds and I'm pretty happy so far...and very little sacrificing...ok sacrificing, but NOT suffering!

  Food Funnies
  ============

    Things Celebrities Order When Eating Out:

  9. Lady Gaga: Turkey with dressing. Salad with dressing. Just
    lots of dressing in general.

  8. Martha Stewart: Finger sandwiches that she makes the kitchen
    redo until they are all *precisely* the same size.

  7. Sarah Palin: Half-Baked Alaska.

  6. Andrew Zimmerman: Last week's special that spoiled three days ago.

  5. William Shatner: Ham. Uncured, old-fashioned ham.

  4. Arnold Schwarzenegger: California mussels surrounded by a
    bunch of nuts in a fiscal reduction.

  3. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford: An Argentinian tart.

  2. Donald Trump: Some kind of light-brown squirrel with ... no,
    wait, that's just something that fell on his plate.

    ... and the #1 Thing Celebrities Order When Eating Out ...

  1. Rush Limbaugh: Fried chicken wings, but right wings ONLY.

Frustrated? Not Losing Weight?

I really don't know why that guy is so frustrated.  He looks plenty thin to me!

Ya know, we've all been there when dieting.  For instance, this email I got today from an unnamed source (unless he lets me know he doesn't mind me using his name):   I AM NOT AS ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT JORGE CRUISE’S DIET.  MY SCALE HASN’T MOVED IN WEEKS   This is a real email... I don't just make up stuff for this blog!  I feel your pain....I've wanted several times to just yell, "UNCLE!!!!"  I hate to say this, but for the most part family members will appreciate this paragraph more than others.

I  believe in Jorge's plan, BUT as my nephew let me know, this plan is not a whole lot different than the South Beach Diet.  It's just packaged a bit differently.  So Jorge has the S/C value. But basically it's cutting back significantly on the sugar and replacing the bad carbs (refined and processed foods) with lots of whole grains and fiber.  If you also limit your fat intake (such as hot dogs and salami...which by the way, I have a really tough time giving up!!) you'll also continue to lose weight.  South  Beach diet lets you eat fruit which Jorge's diet doesn't because of the high natural sugar content.  Same with yogurt and milk.

Some diets are better suited for some than others.  That guy on the ABOVE left was me on South Beach Diet during phase 1.  The diet, overall, is a healthy diet but oh my gosh, that phase 1 is pure hell.  I felt like I was starving 24x7 for the first 2 weeks.  My wife was the same way, and she got a LOT more frustrated on the diet because she loses weight at much slower pace than me.  I do have to admit that I'm a really picky picky eater, so many of the recipes in the 120 SBD cookbooks that we have (actually only 3) just aren't very appetizing to me.  But, also a LOT of recipes in those cookbooks have "x's" by them so we'll know to not try them again. I think there were more "x's" than not.    A few of the recipes aren't bad and I've been trying to adapt them to the Jorge Cruise recipe.  Look back at a couple of posts and see the mini cheesecakes which came from SBD...not bad...I'll be making them again in the next day or so.

CAN YOU HAVE SOME WINE????

Ya like wine?  You don't have to drink the whole bottle!  Have a glass with dinner...the red wine is known to be very healthy.   And as far as recipes, Jorge has some decent recipes in his book.  In fact, what I seen is a friggin TON better than all the South Beach Diet book recipes.  But I gotta be honest....some of Jorge's might end up in the trash as well.

In fact, speaking of other Jorge recipes, talk to my brother Steve.  He thinks Jorge's pancakes are the best!  I tried the recipe (made with soy flour) and they were some of the most disgusting things I've ever eaten.  See the pancakes to the right?  I think they are wheat germ pancakes...I found the picture out on bing.com  searching for pancakes... WELL, as awful as those look to be,  I think those look (and probably taste) like filet mignon compared to how the Jorge pancake recipe turned out.  My wife and I both tried to make the pancakes and we dumped them.  I thought my wife had screwed up.,..unlikely since she's a really good cook...but we all make mistakes. So I tried them...awful again and never again!

But sometimes, and I will admit, I do make mistakes!  I made Jorge Cruise's Belly Good mac 'n cheese and it was awful.  If I could have wrung out the mac 'n cheese butter would have dripped out like wringing out a wet washcloth.   When my son and I stayed a night at my niece's house a few weeks ago, she was making the recipe and all I could think of was, "uh oh!"  She said the kids loved it and it came out great.  Well, I had MY doubts.  Son-of-a-gun, it WAS delicious.  I gotta try it again!

My latest WebMD newsletter came in and there was a teaser headline on the new Atkins Diet and if 's healthy.   I'll have to take a look at that later.


One of my favorite cartoon characters will end this post - Snagglepuss...


EXIT - STAGE RIGHT!!!!

Dieting Mishmosh

What's a mishmosh?  Well, I had to look it up to make sure I was right.... Collaborative International Dictionary of English v.0.48 says, " A hodgepodge or hotchpotch; a confused jumble."  Confused?  Me?

Well, this is an assortment of stuff, and I gotta make sure I don't make it as long as the last post. Not one single comment!  Probably because no one got that far in reading everything.

For those who may be new to this blog, I got swindled, I mean talked into (by my brothers) joining the flock of Jorge Cruise's followers of the Belly Fat Cure. The guy's book has been on the NY Times best sellers list for about 14 weeks.  I was skeptical, but folks, I'm down 37 big pounds since mid-January, without any suffering at all!  Oh, BTW, that is NOT me on the left!!!  All my excess weight was equally distributed throughout my upper torso! Either way, my lovely teen daughter told me months ago that I was fat, disgusting and should go on a diet.  Her twin brother told me I looked pregnant. Then the doctor said I might be in early stages of diabetes.  How many more friggin' clues did I need?

Anyways, in a very short Reader's Digest condensed version (yikes...I wonder how many younger ones even know what THAT is!!!),  Jorge Cruise's plan is to use his 15/6  S/V plan.  That's  no more than 15 grams of sugar and 6 servings of carbs per day.  SERVING of carbs?  If you can find anything below 5 grams, it's free.  Then 5-20 grams is one serving and each 20 grams after that is one serving.  You should have 120 grams of carbs a day.  There's a hitch to this. Replace the "belly bad" foods with "belly good" carbs.  That means LOTS of whole grains, lots of fiber.  And as someone mentioned to me earlier on, do NOT eat all the 15 grams of sugar in one sitting. She said it creates havoc with the blood sugar levels.

POISON

"Oh Heavens to Betsy," (I have no idea who Betsy is),  you say! "I can't leave my Wonder bread and delicious biscuits smothered in sausage and gravy..."  Well, WebMD (good site if you get a chance to look) says this about refined foods like white bread, "When you eat refined foods like white bread, it triggers a series of events, starting with elevated blood sugar levels followed by an increased insulin response, which can cause fat to be deposited more readily."  Now this is what you'll look like if you eat too much of the refined foods---->
High fiber foods take longer to digest and therefore keep you from being hungry for longer periods of time.

Now here's my favorite line of sodas - Zevia!

Zevia is made with all natural sweetener from the stevia plant.  I learned about this stuff from Jorge Cruise and I got hooked on it.  I was buying it from Whole Foods for $5.99/six pack, but came across it at our local Kroger grocery store, on sale for $4.99/six pack.  And only YESTERDAY, I was at our local health food store called Good Foods and they not only carried flavors which Whole Foods doesn't carry, but they also sell it a buck cheaper than Whole Foods.   My favorite flavors:  Ginger root beer, Black Cherry, and Twist.  The others are really good as well, but those first three are tops in my book.    I haven't gotten it yet, but if you head out to Zevia's web site you can sign up for some store coupons.  If you think I'm lying about how good this stuff is, an individual named Ray, who has been watching my blog, sent me this note:  still down 34 (pounds)? Love Zevia soda!  I  kid you NOT...actual true life unsolicited email to me!   Only thing wrong with his note is that I'm not down 34 pounds, I'm down 37 pounds!

Exercise 

Well, unfortunately, I just don't do as much exercise as I should. OK, the truth,  my exercise is opening the door and walking outside with the dog, letting him go down the steps, do his thing, and come back.  Heck, even that's dangerous work.  Twice I slipped walking out the door to the deck and tore my Achille's tendon which needed surgery, twice.  There goes working on the Wii Fit for a while!!

Ever wonder about the Bowflex?  Expensive equipment, alright!  I went out looking for reviews to see if these were any good.  I found a great review at epinions.com.  It's a bit old but still valid.  If I was looking for one I would look for Bowflex at Amazon.com.  Lately I am buying almost everything over there!

Back to Belly Fat!!
What  guy doesn't want 6 pack abs? By the way, for those budding medical students you probably realize that the abs are called rectus abdominis.  Well I don't to look like the picture on the left below this and the picture further down..  You women may think it's incredible sexy.  Well I don't think it's so sexy and, hey, I'm 55 and gray. Realistically, who have I got to impress anymore? The cute 30 year olds look and me staring at them and think, "omg, what a dirty old man."  It could be worse...At least I'm not like Roman Polanski (look him up if you don't know what I'm talking about!)

Which would you rather have????

OK, Honestly?  I don't want either ONE!  According to WebMD, there's good news and bad news.  BAD NEWS FIRST!!!  There is no magic bullet, diet plan, specific food, or type of exercise that specifically targets belly fat. ugh!!!!   NOW THE GOOD NEWS!!!!  "belly fat is the first kind of fat you tend to lose when you lose weight," says Michael Jensen, MD, a Mayo Clinic endocrinology specialist and obesity researcher.  hot-diggity-dog...oh yeah...none of the hot dogs like I had today.  Of course there was no carbs, I used Nature's Hollow bbq sauce, and ate it on a whole grain tortilla with 12 grams of fiber.  Bad part is the hot dogs had about 135 grams of saturated fat.  I kid you, yes (about the amount of grams in the hot dogs)!

No Clean jokes for kids today....In fact no dirty jokes for the adults either.  You'll just have to wait.  But then this is supposed to be a family friendly site...

Jiminy Cricket: As I said to Pinocchio, "Pinoc, there are two ways to do anything - the right way and the wrong way. If you wanna be right, do things the right way, because if you do things the wrong way, that's the foolish way, and only fools do things the foolish way, which is the wrong way. Right?" Anyway, let me see? Where was I?

How to Gain Pounds While Dieting!

Well, have you ever been REALLY trying to lose weight and then everyone else is sitting at the table having pizza from an Italian restaurant?  You're sitting there staring at your carb/sugar friendly pita pizza and WHAMMO!!!!!  You say, "Hey!  lemme have a slice of that and see if it's as good as looks."  Your family/friends say, 'uh...right...you're on a diet!  Wishful thinking!"     At that point, you're ready for a fight...and then you won and dug into that slice.  See that guy on the left?  That was me this past weekend (only I didn't eat the pizza!).

I mean, after all, how much could one slice of pizza hurt your diet when you haven't really been cheating, but ...  wow, it was some kinda good!  It's your FIRST real slice of pizza since you started the Belly Fat Cure!   Well, the next day, you're sitting at home and in comes someone with a bag of hamburgers and fries from your local Five Guys or one of your local burger joints. In MY part of the woods, FIVE GUYS is one of the most difficult places to avoid when it comes to the best burgers and by far the best fries in the country.   Well, back to my story, your family or friends (are they really friends after what they're about to do???)  give you one of the burgers and you pull it off the bun and eat it on your carb and sugar friendly Ezekiel English muffin.  Cool!  But those fries smell pretty durn good!  Your "friends" ask if you want to taste a few and you think, "a few won't hurt me. After all, I haven't really had any fries at all since I started the diet."  So you dig into bag and savor the incredible taste. Next thing you know everyone else is looking around for the French fries only to find out you've eaten all of them.  But what the heck? How much could it hurt?  First fries in three months.

This is how it starts up:.  "I haven't had any pizza in three months and it hasn't hurt.  I haven't had any fries in three months.  The fried chicken was incredible last night and it's the first in three months. Low and behold you get on the scale one morning and you just can't believe that you've put on 3 pounds!!!!  Now how the heck could that be?"

Well folks, I don't know about you, but this is definitely the way it has gotten started for me in the past (the start of putting pounds back on).   I believe in Jorge Cruise's Belly Fat Cure.  REALLY!  And I'm not trying to sell it to you, or getting anything in return.  Heck, the guy won't even acknowledge me on his Facebook page when I've said I've lost 35 pounds!  Whether you follow his plan, or Weight Watchers, South Beach, or any other of the healthy weight loss plans,  You gotta stick to it!  Most of these plans DO let you indulge yourself a bit.

SPEAKING OF INDULGING....

I went through the South Beach Diet Cookbook (The South Beach Diet Quick and Easy Cookbook) to see if there was anything I could safely use for the Belly Fat Cure and lo and behold there was a mini cheesecake recipe I tried.  OK, I gotta be honest...it doesn't taste like REAL cheesecake, but it's OK ... not bad at all, when you consider there's no sugar and only 7 grams of carbs for each one.  Oh, and BTW, the end result doesn't look ANYTHING remotely close to the picture in the book!  But it does satisfy the sweet tooth.

Mini Cocoa Swirl Cheesecakes

6 oz reduced-fat creme cheese (I used regular)

1/2 cup part-skim ricotta cheese

2 tablespoons granular sugar substitute

1 large egg

1 large egg yolk

1/2 tsp vanilla

1-1/2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Line 6 muffin cups with paper or foil liners.

   Blend creme cheese and ricotta in a food processor until creamy.  Add sugar substitute, egg, egg yolk, and vanilla; process until smooth.

   Divide 1 cup of the batter among the muffin cups. Add the cocoa powder to the remaining batter and combine.  Drop a heaping tablespoon of the cocoa batter into each muffin cup and gently fold to form a swirl.

   Place the muffin tin in a large roasting pan and fill the pan with hot water to reach halfway up the tin.  Bake until the cakes are puffed and set, 18-20 minutes.  Remove from the water and cool at room temperature.

   Refrigerate until chilled, about 2 hours.

Per serving: 130 calories, 8 g fat (if using reduced-fat creme cheese), 4.5 g saturated fat, 7 g protein, 7 g carb, 0 g, dietary fiber, 125 mg sodium

....And Speaking of saving money by making your own stuff...I made my own sugar free jam last night...

I have an order in to buy some more of the Nature's Hollow sugar free jams and I'm missing it big time!  WELL, while strolling around WalMart yesterday I happened to notice a box called Ball Fruit Jell Freezer Jam Pectin---No Cooking.   Wow, this might fit the bill!  Make my OWN sugar free jams!  Just so happens we had about 1/3 bag of frozen mixed berries (blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries) and about 1/4  bag of frozen small blueberries.  KEEP in mind this stuff is GOOD FOR YOU!!!  You can't eat much because of natural sugar content, but a little is good.  Full of antioxidants.     I bought the pectin, crushed the berries a  bit in the food processor and followed the incredible easy directions.

The recipe calls for 1-1/2 cups sugar, but I used a combination of sweeteners, the major one being powdered erythritol.  NOW, erythritol is not as sweet as sugar so you gotta use more of it.  I used 1-1/2 cups of the stuff and then added 1/4 cup Splenda and 1/4 cup xylitol.  OH, BIG, GREAT BIG note on xylitol...ya know the lady on TV who does the Pepto Bismal commercial about diarrhea?  Well, you'll need plenty of that pink stuff if you eat too much xylitol (or malitol).    Anyway, I totaled about 2 cups of sweetener all together....YOU can do this....so easy a caveman can do it.   Stir sweetener in with the pouch of pectin and mix really well. Stir in the fruit, Ladle jam into jars.  We happen to have these Ball Plastic 8 ounce jars with screw top lids.  This made 5, yes FIVE, which is over ONE QUART of  jam.  The end result is a bit more watery than I'd like, but that's prob. b/c I used the frozen fruit which was a lot more watery after it defrosted.

Consider the cost of Nature's Hollow jams.  A 10 oz. jar is about $6.00 from Amazon.com.  I made 40 ounces for about the same price.  Now THAT is how you save some moolah!!!!  Here's where you can order the makings for this stuff from Amazon if you can't find it locally (or don't want to bother):

Well, that's about it.  I guess looking back at this post, it may be WAY too long, so I hope it kept your attention OK.  If you didn't have patience to read it, let me know.  Well, I guess if you got bored reading it you would have stopped long before you got this part so how could you let me know?    :-(

               MORE FOOD JOKES FOR KIDS!!!              

Would you believe my Gmail inbox was full of requests for more jokes for kids? No?  Would you believe about 15 emails? Still don't believe me?  5 emails? NO?  Would you believe I gave each kid in the neighborhood $2.00 if they would send me an email asking for more jokes for kids?


What do cats call mice on skateboards?
"Meals on Wheels."

Why do you eat so fast?
I want to eat as much as possible before losing my appetite.

What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing!

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.

Jack: Would you like some Egyptian Pie?
Jill: What's Egyptian pie?
Jack: You know, the kind mummy used to make.

What Does Low Carb Pizza and Passing Gas Have in Common?

There's really not much in common other than I'll discuss both in the post for today. 

Passing gas (OK, letting one loose, or farting) is a normal bodily function.  But how much do you know about what causes it (other than eating lots of beans like Mongo did in Mel Brook's film "Blazing Saddles").  And what about this Jorge Cruise Belly Fat Cure?   If you have started the Belly Fat Cure (or any other diet recommending lots of fiber) then you might be a redneck...oh, sorry, that was the Jeff Foxworthy concert the other night.   I meant to say that if you are eating lots of fiber, like 30 grams or more like suggested by Jorge and health professionals, then you might exhibit an initial increase in the potentially lethal odor emanating from within.(See the fiber on the right...it'll do it to you EVERY time....)

QUIZ TIME!!!  How much (and how often) do you think the average person passes gas?  Harry Aslanian, MD, an associate professor of gastroenterology at the Yale University School of Medicine in New Haven, Conn. says, "...while there's no "normal" amount, the average adult passes about a pint a day, he says. That means passing gas about 14 times a day, other experts estimate."   YIKES!!!!  No wonder the ozone is disappearing so quickly!

So, if you're starting the Jorge Cruise plan or just increasing your intake of fiber you may experience more of that bloating feeling that can ONLY be relieved by what the gentleman on the left is doing.  It takes about three weeks for your body to become adjusted to the fiber change, so instead of three quarts and passing gas about 40 times a day, you'll go back to the pint and 14 times a day!!!  How soothing to know and much more soothed you'll feel!

Ya know what else causes a lot of gas other than beans?  DAIRY, even if you're NOT lactose intolerant.  Maybe that's where the term "cutting the cheese" came from!   And this gets worse as we get older...it really sucks getting OLD (just ask my older brother).

Oh yeah, and the next time you go to the Chinese restaurant, I would definitely skip the stir fried broccoli since that will also help play the wind instrument a bit better!  Artificial Sweeteners as well.  Now I'm not sure about the erythritol, but some of the other sweeteners have a party with the bacteria in the colon and whoop-dee-do---they cause more breaking wind.

Now speaking of pizza, this is actually, really and truly a picture I took of my lunch from yesterday!!  Low carb pizza!!

OK, now ask me which tortilla brand I like the best.  No, really, go ahead and ask me and don't all speak up at once?  Ah there we go, look at everyone trying to answer the question!!!!    Well, since you asked, Tumaro's brand is my favorite...well above the La Tortilla Factory ones. If you can't find Tumaro's locally, you can find Tumaro's at Amazon So, below is a picture I took of the two brands of tortillas I've been using along with the pizza sauce I use most often (Ragu Homestyle Pizza Sauce). 

Make sure that when you buy the sauce you buy any sauce which has no added sugar, corn syrup or other sweeteners.  To make this, I would first lightly toast the wrap/tortilla so it's not too soggy when you eat it.  These are pretty big tortillas, so I use a couple of tablespoons of sauce, maybe a bit more...probably comes out to about 1/8 cup.  The Tumaro's  tortilla wrap has 18 grams of carbs and 12 grams of fiber.  There's less than one gram of sugar.  The 1/8 cup of pizza sauce has about 2-1/2 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of sugar.  I just spoon on the sauce, top with some mozzarella cheese (sometimes I use whole milk to get the stringy effect) and sprinkle on some oregano.  No turkey pepperoni around the house, so I had to live with plain cheese.  Not a bad idea, though...add your own toppings like ground beef or sausage!

CLEAN JOKES FOR KIDS!

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
Because he was on a roll.

Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

What did the hungry computer eat?
Chips, one byte at a time.

Why do fish avoid the computer?
So they don't get caught in the Internet.

1/2 Full or 1/2 Empty: Carbohydrates and Sugar

DUH !!

(Read The Label) I just realized this morning that despite my becoming an educated dieter I have failed to be more conscientious in reading the labels on what I'm eating.  I'm being very careful to look at sugars, carbs, and fiber.  I got really upset this morning when I noticed the Ezekiel brand English muffin I was having for breakfast only had 3 grams of fiber.  I was sure that for same brand of bread I was getting 6 grams of fiber when I was making a sandwich.  Well folks,  I wasn't careful.  I thought I was having a 15 carb  English muffin with 3 grams of fiber.    TURNS OUT, my friends, that the nutritional information was for ONE HALF of an English Muffin!!! So I was really eating 30 grams of carbs and getting the 6 grams of fiber.  Maybe I never noticed before, but I always thought English muffins (at least Thomas' brand) was one whole English muffin per serving, not just half!   So I hope I helped you SEE THE LIGHT and be a bit careful in reading the labels.  OR perhaps you should have been telling me to be more careful!

PORTION CONTROL!

 

Not only do you need to look at the nutritional information, but remember to see how much is in a portion! As far as the label over on the left, I have NO idea what product it is, but there's only 1 gram of sugar, only 4 carbs, a bit of fiber, and I can have TWENTY-FIVE pieces of it!!!!   Now, on the other hand I love the SoBe zero calorie Lifewaters, but if you look at the label you'll see that 1 serving is only 1/2 bottle!!  This is the same for everything else you buy!  One other thing the guy at the Whole Foods bakery made me aware of that I didn't notice before.  He said to look at the breads on the shelves that say "Low Carb" because what companies have been doing is slicing their products thinner and repackaging them as low carb...same product, just less of it in a different package.

GETTING KIDS CONDITIONED TO READ LABELS

Speaking of seeing the light...I'm "aged and confused" after seeing Bill Engvall, Jeff Foxworth (Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?), and Larry the Cable Guy.  They are three fantastically funny comedians who put on a terrific show at George Mason University's Patriot Center.  Until my ankle is healed after surgery I can't drive. So, my son and I stayed with my niece and her family overnight in northern Virginia so we could see the show and then get picked up by my wife the next day.  Jen and Drew's kids are incredibly cute and smart.  My niece who is also on this Jorge Cruise Belly Fat Cure diet has taught her kids the "Belly Good" foods and the "Belly Bad" foods and they both look at the labels.  It was really cute having my 8 year old grand-niece say to me, "Uncle Dave, you can have these!  Look, < 1 gram of sugar, 15 carbs and you can have 26 of them in a serving!"

Oh man, I hate when people keep pounding on me talking about the same thing over and over....just ask my kids about how I NEVER do that!!!  ha-ha-ha    AND I hate to sound like one big advertisement but this Zevia soda is still my favorite stuff!  While visiting my niece, she and her husband gave me a taste of a flavor I cannot get at my Whole Foods store here in Richmond.  It's the Black Cherry.  Now this soda had no aftertaste and tasted like the black cherry sodas that I used to drink as a kid (and stopped because of all the sugar).  Zevia is a company who has a line of seven different flavors of zero calorie sodas.  Now, this company does not use saccharin, aspartame, or sucalose but rather uses a natural sweetener called Stevia.  There are 12 grams of carbs in each can and all the carbs are sugar alcohols, NOT sugar.  And as an earlier post I had indicated, erythritol carbs have no calories or effect on blood sugar!  The Ginger Root Beer and now the Black Cherry are my two favorites.  I love the Orange, Twist, and Cola as well.  The problem is that the only place I've seen it in stores locally is Whole Foods.  If you don't have a Whole Foods near by you, Zevia is available at Amazon,com.

WHOA!!!!

My son says I'm nuts, but I think if the guy above didn't have a beard and mustache and was a bit heavier in the face, he'd look a whole lot like me!  But that's not the point I wanted to make!   Imagine that bowling ball he's holding is a 16 pounder and imagine he's holding TWO of them.  Then imagine walking around with those everywhere you went. Those two bowling balls represent just about the amount of weight I've lost so far!

Words to ponder

For the end of today's post I want to leave you with some words to ponder:

• The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer far fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans
• On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
• The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
• The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer few hearter attacks than British or Americans.

  Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like.  It's speaking English that kills you.