Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What Does Low Carb Pizza and Passing Gas Have in Common?



There's really not much in common other than I'll discuss both in the post for today. 

Passing gas (OK, letting one loose, or farting) is a normal bodily function.  But how much do you know about what causes it (other than eating lots of beans like Mongo did in Mel Brook's film "Blazing Saddles").  And what about this Jorge Cruise Belly Fat Cure?   If you have started the Belly Fat Cure (or any other diet recommending lots of fiber) then you might be a redneck...oh, sorry, that was the Jeff Foxworthy concert the other night.   I meant to say that if you are eating lots of fiber, like 30 grams or more like suggested by Jorge and health professionals, then you might exhibit an initial increase in the potentially lethal odor emanating from within.(See the fiber on the right...it'll do it to you EVERY time....)

QUIZ TIME!!!  How much (and how often) do you think the average person passes gas?  Harry Aslanian, MD, an associate professor of gastroenterology at the Yale University School of Medicine in New Haven, Conn. says, "...while there's no "normal" amount, the average adult passes about a pint a day, he says. That means passing gas about 14 times a day, other experts estimate."   YIKES!!!!  No wonder the ozone is disappearing so quickly!

So, if you're starting the Jorge Cruise plan or just increasing your intake of fiber you may experience more of that bloating feeling that can ONLY be relieved by what the gentleman on the left is doing.  It takes about three weeks for your body to become adjusted to the fiber change, so instead of three quarts and passing gas about 40 times a day, you'll go back to the pint and 14 times a day!!!  How soothing to know and much more soothed you'll feel!

Ya know what else causes a lot of gas other than beans?  DAIRY, even if you're NOT lactose intolerant.  Maybe that's where the term "cutting the cheese" came from!   And this gets worse as we get older...it really sucks getting OLD (just ask my older brother).

Oh yeah, and the next time you go to the Chinese restaurant, I would definitely skip the stir fried broccoli since that will also help play the wind instrument a bit better!  Artificial Sweeteners as well.  Now I'm not sure about the erythritol, but some of the other sweeteners have a party with the bacteria in the colon and whoop-dee-do---they cause more breaking wind.

Now speaking of pizza, this is actually, really and truly a picture I took of my lunch from yesterday!!  Low carb pizza!!
OK, now ask me which tortilla brand I like the best.  No, really, go ahead and ask me and don't all speak up at once?  Ah there we go, look at everyone trying to answer the question!!!!    Well, since you asked, Tumaro's brand is my favorite...well above the La Tortilla Factory ones. If you can't find Tumaro's locally, you can find Tumaro's at Amazon So, below is a picture I took of the two brands of tortillas I've been using along with the pizza sauce I use most often (Ragu Homestyle Pizza Sauce). 


Make sure that when you buy the sauce you buy any sauce which has no added sugar, corn syrup or other sweeteners.  To make this, I would first lightly toast the wrap/tortilla so it's not too soggy when you eat it.  These are pretty big tortillas, so I use a couple of tablespoons of sauce, maybe a bit more...probably comes out to about 1/8 cup.  The Tumaro's  tortilla wrap has 18 grams of carbs and 12 grams of fiber.  There's less than one gram of sugar.  The 1/8 cup of pizza sauce has about 2-1/2 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of sugar.  I just spoon on the sauce, top with some mozzarella cheese (sometimes I use whole milk to get the stringy effect) and sprinkle on some oregano.  No turkey pepperoni around the house, so I had to live with plain cheese.  Not a bad idea, though...add your own toppings like ground beef or sausage!






CLEAN JOKES FOR KIDS!

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
Because he was on a roll.

Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

What did the hungry computer eat?
Chips, one byte at a time.

Why do fish avoid the computer?
So they don't get caught in the Internet.



1 comment:

  1. haha. funny, I knew fiber made me... hehehe... fart. Didnt know about the dairy though. Have you tried nutiva coconut oil yet? I was wondering your take on this, as I am ordering a container. They say its great for butter substitue, and also good as a moisturizer. lol. Weird, something you can put on your face is also something you can eat. But I wondered about it.

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